Hello 2020.
I'm not one for writing a list of things I want to achieve in this new year, neither am I going to reflect on what I achieved or failed to do during 2019. I mean in previous years, I've written so much about how a new year is a new start, a chance for new things in life. And as much as it is a new chapter, you can start again at any point in the year, any time can be a change for you, you just have to want it. I for one have made so many resolutions and goals, that I've never stuck too - lets loose weight, be healthier, go to the gym.... nope, I did none of it! For 2020 I'm just going to continue trying to live a positive life, working on my mental health as well as planning a wedding!
Last year, I found the whole blogging world a bit of a struggle if I'm honest. The social media side, the content side, the community - everything. I really struggled with finding content I was happy in writing and uploading, putting it out there for everyone to read. I wasn't happy with my blog in general, the layout, colours etc. I started comparing this to other peoples blogs and came to the conclusion that mine was utter crap, it didn't look how I wanted it too. I always found the need to try and change it up somehow, make it look better than it did before. Didn't matter how many times I did this, I then grew unhappy with it again.
I wanted my blog to fit in. I wanted to become the perfect blogger. I wanted to follow all the advice from others about how I could become the perfect blogger with the blog to go along with it. I had read so many tips on how to blog successfully or how to grow your blog. With all these tips in mind, I set out trying to make my blog as successful as I could.
However, having a full time job as well as trying to run a blog with other commitments too, made me realise I needed to just stop. Take a second to just stop...everything. As much as I want to be successful in life, I also needed to prioritise. Making myself ill with my mental health or stressing out because I hadn't uploaded for a few days, isn't why I started up this blog of mine in the first place. Needing to find my voice, why I was here. The reasons behind this blog was what I did in the time I was away from the keyboard. Posting and uploading just wasn't fun anymore, it wasn't something I was enjoying doing.
I was too busy focusing on the goals I had set, reach this many views, reach this many followers...When did that become fun? It's become an obsession in the whole social media world and it's easy to get caught up in. If I think about why I first created this little space, it's because I wanted to help others in some way, not to become obsessed by numbers and figures of engagement, followers and likes. This is my little space and one that is successful in it's own right and way. This was never about all of this other things that have just happened to get tangled in with the blogging world. It's suppose to be fun, enjoyable, talking about cool little finds or inspiring and helping others with mental health issues.
A goal for 2020, is this...
Don't feel pressured into posting, enjoy uploading, creating and writing.
Having a month or so off to just look after myself and distance myself from the world of blogging has made me open up my journal and think about what I want in 2020 for this blog of mine. With all that being said, I'm looking forward to actually getting back to blogging and creating new content without the pressure of having to upload as well as enjoying uploading on social media and not feeling pressured to upload every time because that's what you should do if you want to be a successful blogger. Let's leave all that crap in 2019 and move on to a happier 2020.
I'm looking forward to not feeling like I have to have the perfect blog or be the perfect blogger this year. I'm looking forward to posting things I want to on Instagram or tweet about something that I wouldn't usually.
Who knows whats going to happen this year but lets make it a gooden!
Happy New Year guys!
X O X O
Kayleigh
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