The Art of Looking Back

If someone told me that time would have gone this quickly, I think I would have paused certain moments so that I could appreciate the little things. 

Looking back, reflecting can be strange. But yet I'm in awe of looking back on how life changes and continues to do so. 

Let's take my twenties for example... One second, I was an early twenty year old, my eyeliner applied generously to my bottom lid so that I resembled a panda, bootcut jeans were in and big chunky belts (what were we thinking?!) . . .  yesterday I watered my indoor plants and went thinking back on that eyeliner look and wishing someone told me that I looked ridiculous. 

Moments or memories can come in flashbacks. I can remember certain things about Primary School but yet, can't remember where I left my phone an hour ago. 

My earliest memory of School was making a massive mess in Primary using the Powder Paint. I wasn't a paint monitor so I wasn't allowed to touch the paint and yet, I ignored the rules, touched the paint and ended up turning myself grey! My white school t-shirt was no longer a bright white, in fact there were grey and black splodges all over it. Straight to the Headmistress I went! - Always thinking I know best and nothings changed. 

I like to think - - on occasion - - that I know what I'm doing, when secretly I'm thinking . . . what am I doing?! I hate the idea of someone coming in and saving the day. I like to learn from my own mistakes, I like to know when I've fecked up. I'm stubborn... okay, fine I'll admit it. . . *my sister here will be saying 'told you so'*  

Yes I'm stubborn! 

Let's take making Ikea furniture, I'll look at the instructions briefly but I can make it on my own . . . (and she didn't!) . . . to baking a cake, not following the recipe properly, then wondering why my cake hasn't risen... did you use the right flour, Kayleigh?! 

I guess most of the females in my family are stubborn in some way, shape or form. My littlest sister, refusing to sit in the buggy at two years of age because she wanted to walk, another sister refusing to eat her ice cream because it was the wrong one. My brother got the stubborn gene too, always refusing to go to bed at the right time . . .  mind you didn't we all as kids, hate the idea of going to bed early, no matter how tired we were. Now as an adult the thought of an early night is pure bliss.  

It's funny how things change, how things that seem as a child, seem completely different as an adult. Take time. Didn't time use to drag. A school term seemed to go on for ages, it took forever to get to half term or the weekend. Now time passes so quickly, I feel like the whole academic year goes so quickly. Christmas seems to come around so fast and leaves me in a fluster as December just happens to arrive. 

God, I love nostalgia.  

My Twenties have involved loosing weight, gaining weight, cutting all my hair off, growing it back out, trying out 50 shades of blonde. . . to even getting a fringe cut as well as trying to figure out what I wanted to do with life.  

Hair all chopped off at 23! 

Over time, I grew up. I went from early twenty year old who thought she knew everything, spending her weekly college money on KFC right around the corner from college, WKD Blue being her favourite drink, loving a bit of apple bottom jeans, boots with the furrrr -  

The Blue WKD years. . . 

-  to a grown up woman, wiser - - I hope - - and more aware of the world. The Blue WKD is gone, I'm more of a white wine girl now and I still love a cheesy old tune!  

 I'd like to think I know more about who I am and what I want out out of life as well as mastering the skill of living an adult life. 

Looking back on the past, reflecting is a nice way of looking at all of the things we've learnt, experiences gained, things we can't change. Those old cheesy Facebook status we put up, just announcing that I was having a bad day but using the art of text language - - - aving bd fckin dy 2dy - - - Time hop likes to remind me of this occasionally, if I could turn back time, I'd stop myself from posting cheesy things on line as well as updating my status every two seconds. 

Looking back gives us the chance to cringe at our embarrassing moments, laugh at our funny memories and learn from those lessons along the way. 

We realise that we change. Our likes/dislikes, our appearance, our wants and priorities. I went from brunette to blonde, loving sweet foods to becoming more of a savoury person and realising that I didn't need to shop for new clothes, instead I could save that twenty pounds and put it towards something that I needed.  

 Adulting is brilliant - - sometimes - - if we can manage it.

tags:adulting,thoughts